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by Rocko Bonaparte
Project Pink Book is akin to the CIA's Project Blue Book. In this case, evidence proving the existence of women is cataloged and analyized. There has been a lull in evidence submitted from the Rochester Institute of Technology. Hence, I had to pull my reports from some stuff that has been spotted while on co-op in California.
Case 01:3343 -- 10-21-01 16:44 Pasadena, California
Picture taken by a resident womanologist on stake-out at a Wal-Mart parking lot. Researcher was pursuing the race of so-called "brunettes." Emphasis in evidence submission was placed on the strange black eyes of the leftward she-creature. Said entity was in possession of a strange wheeled device, but it is not clear what it is exactly from the position of this photograph. The other creature is no clear due to inconvenient positioning of the hand over the face-region.
Upon closer inspection, the leftward creature has questionable authenticity. The shoulders seem too wide to fit the standard profile of the brunette. The eyes are also questionable -- few other profiles include this. It seems that the eyes are actually just covered by sunglasses. It was decided this submission was more of a playful prank than anything else. The wheeled device was probably used to keep the creature upright. The rightwards creature probably has the face covered in order to hide imperfections in the model.
Case #02:1229 -- 05-11-02 13:55 Golfland; Roseville, California
Subject matter obtained by family spending a Saturday afternoon playing a game of miniture golf. Suddenly, this specimen appeared, complete with what seems to be an actual putting club from the place. In the other hand is some kind of satchel. The specimen was approximately 6'2", and plainly-dressed. It danced about the miniture golf course while the family attempted to play about 4 holes, and then it disappeared.
Interviews with the family in question were consistent. All reported the same facts on the case. Hence, this cannot be easily dismissed by the whims of one compulseives womanologist. Likewise, other individuals playing golf at the same time of this event report similar findings. What was suspicious was the power grid above the course. This could have been a rare case of electromagnetic waves mixing with beta particles to create a dancing mirage. Had this appeared elsewhere, the object in the she-creature's left hand would have been unknown. However, it was easy for the crowd to associate it with a putter since this was at a miniture golf course. It was a bad case of a mirage and public hysteria that caused such concern in this case. The family can rest assured at night knowing this is a highly rare event.
Case #02:1011 -- 04-24-02 15:01 Monterey, California
This was provided by a state trooper that was on watch over a small sporting event. While scanning the parking lot, this specimen was found. The officer claims it was much more obvious this was a she-creature possibility from his eyes. However, the camera was slow in taking the picture. The she-creature was apparantly walking from left to right when the picture was taken, which contributed to the blur and obscureness of the humanoid. Little conclusion can be drawn from the picture.
Case #02:1231 -- 05-11-02 20:27 Sacramento County Fair at the Cal Expo; Sacramento, California
This was taken by a womanologist trying to discover the dietary habits of thes mythical she-creatures. Here, two can be spotted in a crowd with their heads turned to the side in order to avoid raising suspicion. The shape of the hair of the leftward creature is supposed to be evidence enough that these are she-creatures. The researcher decided they were foraging for something at this concession stand, and had been aroused by the smell of its confections.
Nighttime
has always been a strange time for spotting she-creatures. They generally
approach human beings in greater frequency after the sun sets. Perhaps
they are sun-fearing creatures, but that has yet to be agreed upon by researchers.
However, the lack of lighting in general makes it more difficult to determine
the authenticity of the creatures in the photographs. Also, the picture
of the front of a she-creature would be more useful under the circumstances.
However, she-creatures tend to panic and disappear when they sense they
are being photographed. The researcher claims these cratures ran off as
soon as the saw the flash from the camera. It was part of an operation
to get the she-creatures sedated on caramel apples. Sadly, it was a failure,
and doesn't provide an additional evidence to the existence of females
in the world.
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