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Dear Gracies Dinnertime Theatre,

It has com to mi atention dat Jeff Pristacko, the editor for Teh Reporter, is trying to steel yur stile. I fought at thirst that he became fed up wit RIT and startd rantin. He wrote true n kool tings in that editorall from 2 times ago. The campus went like nuts. I went nuts, tho I'm always nuts. Or dat's what my hawf frend tells me. People wrote too da editar with big bad words, and others told him to just shut up n take al deese problums like a man. Afteral, we r here four a qality education, not four a qality education. Teh article was so harsh I begins to cry. I also begins to vomit, butt I think dat was because of teh flu. I be sick four the weekend and sum off Monday and Tuesday. I tought Jeff Preestajackieo be going to git kiked out of Teh Reporter, and spank by his masters at RIT four being bad boy.

But weak later, he write anuddaer editorial. I was hopin for moor dirtee stuf from Jeff Pristykjo, but found an apologee. He claim he writ da article on purpose, to make us all be mad. He wanted mi to think dirty toughts about him. I ain't believe it! Thirst of al, I agreed with Jeff Priestakko in his editoral two times ago. But worse, he did somefin very like what you'ze guys do. He say one fing when he means anuddah. I'ze couldn't believe it. I only people that I know dat do dat are my professors, and you guys.

You'ze should go spank Jeff Priiistfcckaefko for crimping your style. He should'ze not git away wit suc crazee stuf. I think you'ze should stand on teh line behind the S.G. presedent. He want to punchs him too. I know, cause I got the idea from the S.G. minites. I tried to punch Jeff Peaofhiouhko in the face, but I'ze think I hit a fee-male instead. Now I'ze on probation. So yu will haf to do it because I'ze don't want to get kiked off campus. I mean, teh place suks, butt I don't wont to git kicked out of heere. I need dat piece of paper dat will'ze till the world I am the smart.

Love,

Smackin Higgins


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