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I read many harch remarks about yur' publikashon last week. I find dis' hard to beleiv. The wurs'd comments I usually here about GDT is, "Dose' peepole are bery stranje." Sum' of my frends think y'all smoak pot al' the tiem. However, I am pritty sure you only smoak on the weak ends.
Anyhow, I was stardald by the critizisms of Erving Washingtons' thingie dat' hee wroat last weak. I fought it be an exsellant reed, on par wif' a bag of salt and vinager potatoe chips. I thelt dat' Mr. Digital Bonfier was being too critikal of His wurk. I meen, I took riting and literitur 1 and 2, and I concider myself a fien example of litarery geneous. And I fought teh wurk be exsellant accuret and full of warme happy feely thingie of good do.
Mr. Digital Bonfire, if dat' is yur' reel naem, The grate Orson Wells did in fact liev in Marysville Washinton. Telemarckaters used to miz-pronounce his last naem, wich is why he added a e to da' end. Dis' is the saem wif' Strom Thurmoan. Truman was caled Trumand, but foreigh dignitaries used to miz-pronounce it too. I gues teh lesson is if youre' a foreigh dignitery, you are a telemarckater.
I can undarstand of why Mr. Washington (he is a genaral, u know) dosn't use spell check becawse it is wrong. I do not use spell check becawse it dos not liek my mastarpieces. My teacher for riting and literitur told me so. Also, grammer checker does not wurk well in MS Word. It tells me to use the aktive voice. But I amm a modest parson, and don't liek to speek loud.
I reed the Big Red Book once, and it had thingies about comunism and having secks wif' little boys. I did not undarstand it. We are supposed to wriet like dat'? It was Chineez, you know. My fathar tels me the Chineez are taking ovar the world, and we haev to ckill each and avery 1 of them. The departmant heed of the custodeal engineering departmant heer agrees. But I liek them becawse they smiel whenaver I talk to them. So I guess I can see why we schould use teh Big Red Book. But I didn't get it.
I would submit my own grate wurk, but I don't have the tiem and abilidy to Finnish. I tried poatry a long tiem ago, but it didnt go. I wonce wroat a storee about puppys, ninjas, and deathes people but forgot were I put it on my computor. It went something liek some deathes people where flapping to eech othar in teh basment and some ninjas rieding puppys caem in and of attaked them but the deathes people attaked bak by flapping there arms and teh ninjas used there street fiter 2 turbo punch and the deathes people started crieing wif' the puppys and they all got sad and maed up wif' eech othar. I showed it to sum Chineez people and dey' smiled, but dey' didn't say anyting. I don't think the Chineez can speek Englitch. I know my Chineez professors can't.
I am suer if Al Simone is sereous about student retention raets, he will considar hiring ninjas on puppys to attak Mr. Digital Bonfire, though dat' is a vary funny naem. If my naem was Digital Bonfire, I know I wuld just be laughed at. However, my naem is nise and beutiful, and I am prod of my mother who gaev it to me, even tho' she is 1 tree short of a forest, my daddy says.
Love,
Smackin
Higgins.
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